Four Ways to Hone Your Intuition

“You’ll never guess who I’m marrying!” I blurted out to a friend. I was 25 years old and trying on wedding gowns in David’s Village and Bridal Shop when my friend, Susie, walked into the store and I approached her with this exclamation and a wide smile on my face. 

But the truth is, I wasn’t getting married. I wasn’t engaged. 

I wasn’t even dating anyone at the time.

Let me set the scene. Moments before, I was hanging out with some friends when we decided we wanted to do something kind of crazy (nowadays we might have filmed it for TikTok, but at that time, we just did it for the heck of it). “Let’s pretend one of us is getting married,” my friend, Beth, said. I was IN! She lent me her grandmother’s ring which I immediately put on my ring finger and then we made a beeline for the bridal shop. As I tried on dresses, we giggled behind the saleslady’s back. I was saying “yes” to the dress before having said “yes” to any fiancé and it felt hilariously ridiculous.

But when my friend, Susie, came into the store looking for a formal gown, I became concerned that we were going to get caught red-handed. I didn’t know what would happen next. Would we be tossed out of the store? Scolded? Arrested? My imagination carried me away, so I racked my brain and quickly came up with a solution. I would run up to Susie and head her off at the pass. I would tell her I was marrying someone but use the name of the least-likely guy so she would know I was kidding while not tipping off the saleslady to our ruse.

The name I threw out to her was “Mitch Gore”. He was a mutual friend that most of my peers and I had put into the “friend zone”. He was nice enough, but not someone I was actually interested in. The funny thing is, in a matter of months, I DID marry him. The very man whose name I mentioned randomly! But was it random? Or was it something more?

At the time I didn’t know much about intuition or flashes of insight. Now I do.

I have come to learn that intuition is kind of a sixth sense that can be exercised and honed. 

It can be put to use for better health, improved relationships, and a more keen understanding of who we are and our place in the world.

To hone your intuition requires first and foremost a desire for insights on life and self. 

A butterfly lands on those who are still and patient. Intuition and insights are similar. 

Cultivate the practices below to hone your intuition.

• Learn to be still! I’m still working on this. It’s much easier to be a human “doing” than a human being. But it’s in stillness that we get greater clarity about who we are and our purpose in life. Make sure your day includes moments of quiet—cultivate it in the sauna, in nature, in the car (if need be). No inputs. No podcasts, audio books or music. Just you and your breath and your thoughts. You will gain insights about how you tick and how the world functions when you make space for such things. 

• Observe. This goes hand in hand with stillness. Your to-do list can blind you to true connection with what (and who) is around you. You could easily walk by a lovely flower or stranger and be so consumed on the inside that you miss the beauty of what’s right in front of you. Make it a practice to notice little things—the life and beauty in a ladybug, the pattern of spilled milk, the fold of a quilt on the bed. Tune into the little things can make you more attentive to the small internal voice and guidance system of intuition. Plus noticing the small, beautiful things can help you grow in the practice of daily gratitude.

• Listen. Sometimes your gut (literally) is trying to talk to you. Why do you feel a heaviness in your chest while answering a negative email? Or your stomach churning when your little one tugs on your sleeve (or screams) for the fifth time this morning? The problem isn’t outside of you. There’s something going on inside that you’ve neglected to attend to. What lessons can you learn from your internal feelings or external actions? Learn to listen to your heart (to learn more about yourself and your reactions). The more curiosity you cultivate, the more you’ll learn about yourself. That understanding can lead you to treat yourself and others with greater compassion.

• Humor. Tightly-wound people are a like a spring, waiting to pounce/react when provoked. A Tigger-type person is ready to bounce, emanating joy and contentment. What’s the difference? One is perpetually in a defensive posture, fending off life’s offenses (and there are many) and protecting the ego. The latter takes a more proactive positive posture in life, expecting the best and not taking themselves (or anything) too seriously. Cultivate your sense of humor (and joy) by making sure your day has something that you do for the sheer pleasure of it. Play the guitar, smile at a stranger, plant a flower, bake chocolate chip cookies. Hum. The more you laugh and smile, the less you worry. And the more open you are to good things like unexpected joys (or blurted out words that may have quite the impact on your future)!

All of the above have led me to have many flashes of insight and intuition and even what some call “cosmic winks” from God that bring me joy and feel like confirmations of my place in this world. Let me know if you want a part 2 on this topic where I will elaborate on such things. And comment below with your own reflections and experiences related to intuition. I’d love to hear from you!