10 gifts from my scar
I used to worry that no one would want to marry me if they saw my scar. I thought I’d have to tell my future spouse about it and expected he would immediately break the engagement and walk away.
Open-heart surgery when I was 9 years old saved my life. The doctors fixed the congenital birth defect (a hole between the lower two ventricles) but left a big T-shaped scar on my chest. I used to be ashamed of it. It made me different, unacceptable.
I covered the scar up as best I could, at first, doing my best to not let it peek through whatever I was wearing. I shopped carefully, picking out swimsuits and shirts that would hide the defect.
I hide it no longer. I am now a woman who’s walked the earth for many more years scarred, than un-scarred. I’ve learned to accept myself, along with my very unique “body art”. And I recognize the gifts it has given me over the years.
We’ve all got scars. Some are just more visible than others.
For the sake of brevity, here I mention ten gifts from my scar:
We’re all scarred. – I had a custom-made halter swimsuit when I was 11 years old to cover up the scar. I used to think that this huge scar up and down the front of my chest made me weird. As I got older, I realized that no one makes it through this life without some kind of scar. Some are physically visible. Others are emotional in nature and hard to detect at first. But now I know I’m not the only weird one. We’ve all got scars.
God is real. – I could’ve been born with a much more severe birth defect. As a matter of fact, the doctors predicted that I’d be born blind, or unable to hear or speak. But I wasn’t. Even before I was born, I was protected by a bubble of love. This confirmed for me the belief that God knit me together in my mother’s womb and was looking out for me, in utero.
Doctors have their place. – If I’m ever in a car accident, I won’t just drink a kombucha and hope for the best. While I do my best to stay strong on my own, doctors can help in certain situations. They told my parents that I likely wouldn’t live past 21, without open-heart surgery. Now I’m over twice that age. So thankful for the surgeons’ ability to repair the heart and extend my life!
The body heals. – While the surgical team sewed up the heart and the skin, they didn’t make the healing happen. God did. And my body knew exactly what to do. It was designed to heal.
Squeeze the juice out of life. – The doctors were uncertain what limitations my heart defect could pose, so pre-surgery, I was told to take care about my level of activity.. So, I was often a kid on the sidelines. I had little body confidence or ability. I was the last one picked for kickball in P.E. I avoided rides at amusement parks. I never tested my limits. Post-surgery, I was told I could do whatever I wanted. And, so, I dove into life with abandon, squeezing ever last drop out of life. Girl scout camping weekend? I was in! Rollercoasters? Put me in the front car! School musicals? Pom pom squad? Sign me up. To this day, “no” is practically not in my vocabulary.
Live intentionally. – Even though I want to get everything out of this life that I possibly can, I don’t feel compelled to do ALL the things. I participate in only what I deem to be good for my body and spirit. This includes daily resistance training, eating nourishing food and cold plunges! Alcohol and drugs don’t make the cut. I don’t want to hurt the body that has already been through so much. And I don’t want to distort this experience. I want to feel all that life has to offer—fully conscious of the highs, lows, and everything in between.
Show your scars. – Vulnerability leads to connection with others. My scar is part of my story. I don’t try to hide it anymore. When it shows, it can spark conversation and greater, deeper relationships. Being open-hearted (so to speak) invites others to be the same way. I have deeper friendships than ever before since I no longer hide this part of me.
Imperfections are perfect. – Society and the cosmetic industry hold up unattainable definitions of beauty. With airbrushed images, they call out anything that isn’t perfect, using labels like “11s”, to invoke shame of perceived flaws and natural aging. I reject this thinking. The fact that we’re alive and kicking is fantastic! Every breath is a miracle. My scar isn’t ugly. It’s empowering. It shows how strong and resilient I am. Whatever the outward shell looks like to Hollywood, each of our bodies is perfectly beautiful and worth celebrating. So-called “imperfections” are perfect.
Keep the wonder. – Perhaps it was my near brush with death that has made me appreciate how much there is to marvel at—at home and beyond. Life is wonder-full. The Inca City of Machu Picchu. My petite body birthing four babies (all weighing over 9 lbs. at birth). The diversity of fish and sea life at the Great Barrier Reef. My “accidental biohacker” husband who loves me no matter what. The beautiful Inti Raymi celebration in Ecuador, bush country in Australia, the beaded Maasai in Kenya. Frigid ice holes in Wisconsin. There is much to explore, including the depths of our own wonder-filled hearts.
Wake up to reality. – For the surgeons to repair my heart, they had to put me under anesthesia, lower the temperature of my entire body (packed in ice) long enough to stop the heart, sew it, and then put me all back together. When I woke up, I saw the scar, but I also saw the possibilities ahead. As an adult, I now face a variety of experiences that challenge my heart in different ways. I don’t anesthetize myself from them. Instead of numbing myself, I do my best to wake up to the potential and promise they hold. Living fully awake may lead to scars, but to me, this is preferable to living a safe and comfortable, yet, unaware life.
Friends from the heart.
Which of these gifts resonates the most with you? Do you have a “defect” that has turned out to be a blessing? Tell me about it! Life’s scars are part of the journey. Let’s embrace them!
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Hilda Labrada Gore is an ancestral health advocate, a certified health coach, and podcast coach.. She is the host and producer of the Wise Traditions podcast and Tradiciones Sabias podcasts, on behalf of the Weston A. Price Foundation. She is the author of “Podcasting Made Simple.” She is also a YouTuber, helping people live their best lives through experts, experiences, and epic adventures. Hilda has energy to spare thanks to her ancestral health practices and her love for sunshine and liverwurst.